Many of us learn about relationships from our families, religion, community, television, social media, and past experiences. Some messages can support love, loyalty, and commitment. Others can create pressure, shame, silence, or unhealthy expectations.
A good relationship is not one in which one person sacrifices everything, problems are hidden, or jealousy is treated as proof of love. Healthy relationships require respect, emotional safety, honesty, consent, accountability, and shared effort.
Here are common myths that can get in the way of healthy relationships.
Myth: “Real love means staying no matter what.”
Commitment matters, but no one should remain in a relationship where there is abuse, threats, humiliation, coercion, violence, or fear. Love does not require a person to give up their safety, dignity, or well-being.
Myth: “Jealousy means that someone loves you.”
Jealousy is not proof of love. Checking phones, demanding passwords, isolating a partner from family or friends, controlling clothing, monitoring location, or accusing someone without evidence are signs of control—not care.
Myth: “Good couples never argue.”
Every couple has disagreements. The question is not whether conflict happens, but whether both people can talk respectfully, listen, take responsibility, apologize, and repair harm.
Myth: “A woman should carry the home, the children, and everyone’s emotions.”
Caregiving and household work are real work. A healthy partnership includes shared responsibility. One person should not be expected to manage the home, children, schedules, finances, and emotional needs alone.
Myth: “A man must always be strong and in control.”
Men can be loving, responsible, and strong while also being emotionally honest, asking for help, apologizing, and listening. Control is not strength. Respect is strength.
Myth: “We should not talk about sex.”
Silence about sex can make it harder to discuss consent, health, pleasure, pain, boundaries, pregnancy prevention, or relationship concerns. Healthy intimacy depends on open communication, choice, and mutual respect.
Myth: “What happens in the relationship should stay secret.”
Privacy is healthy. Secrecy about abuse, threats, sexual coercion, violence, or fear is dangerous. Reaching out for confidential help is not betrayal; it is a step toward safety.
Cultural values such as family loyalty, respect, faith, and commitment can be sources of strength. But they should never be used to excuse control, abuse, or emotional suffering. Research on culturally sensitive mental-health care emphasizes the importance of understanding family values, stigma, gender expectations, and immigration-related experiences without treating any culture as a problem.
If you are afraid of your partner or feel controlled, seek confidential support from a domestic-violence advocate, health professional, therapist, or crisis service. Your safety comes first.
Call at The Latina Center at: 510- 2338595
Reflection question: Which relationship message did you grow up hearing that you would like to question, redefine, or leave behind?
Javier Nunton, MSW